When I hear the word tolerance, I associate it when a negative connotation. It's a chore, a hardship, for me to tolerate someone who chews with their mouth open. I tolerate the constant tickling of ivories at mom's house when my sisters are practicing. But what if tolerance was a good thing, that brought people together, rather than create unspoken tensions.
Tolerance, as defined by Elder Dallin H. Oaks, is "a friendly and fair attitude towards unfamiliar opinions or toward persons who hold or practice them." The greater diversity in the world is both a blessing and a curse. We can see and appreciate just how unique each of us as God's children really are. But with this greater diversity, it can be harder and harder to maintain our identity as a child of God and uphold our gospel centered beliefs. There is also a greater chance for the outburst of conflict. Elder Oaks askes "What is tolerance, when does it apply, when does it not apply?"
We practice tolerance every day. There are many groups and subgroups within society that require our tolerance. Perhaps the most common for me right now is different social class systems. There are the super rich kids that break the rules because they can, and the people who come from more humble backgrounds that appreciate the great opportunity to study at BYU-I are a discounted price. The apartment complex next to mine is referred to as "Hogwarts" because of it's castle looks and it’s lavish amenities. My apartment is by no means fancy. I pay a little more than a thousand dollars a semester to live with 5 other girls, who all share one fridge. My apartment complex is called "Hagrid's Hut" by those who live in the bigger and better apartments. I try to smile and laugh it off, but my level or tolerance is not as high with those in my family.
I will be the first to tell you I have a lot to tolerate in my family. But they also tolerate a lot from me. I get annoyed when people say words differently than me. Around the end of every year, it is time to renew my FAFSA for college, and my mom cannot pronounce FAFSA to save her life. I love my mom, and while this is an easier "unfamiliar" pronunciation to tolerate, it helps get the point across. The first time my mom and I were talking about it, I let it get deep under my skin and I refused to talk to her about it. I let it get between the good relationship we were building.
Moving away to college has helped me practice and refine my tolerance level. I’ve been thinking, especially with the recent general conference themes of love towards one another. How can I turn tolerance into a positive, more helpful experience for everyone? How would our relationships be different if we used love and acceptance while tolerating others. It reminds me of the saying “love the sinner not the sin.” I don’t agree with certain of the things some of my family members, but because I love them I’ve been trying to accept them as they are, and not what they choose to believe.
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