You’ve been on a few dates with someone, and you’re ready to take the next step. What is this step for you two love birds? Is it time to buy a puppy to signify your love, move in together? Pop the big question and flash a ring? I don’t think so. It’s time for the fun part: Courtship!
One of my favorite movies as a kid was “Seven Brides for Seven Brothers.” One of the songs is Goin’ Courtin’ where Milly is teacher her six younger brother-in-law’s how to get the girls in town to fall in love with them. While this is cute and comical, this is the wrong kind of courting. The courting we should be doing today is exclusively dating someone. Courtship is an important stage in the marriage process. Exclusive dating should only take place when you are ready to get married, because there are only two outcomes. You get engaged, then married, or you break up.
If you are exclusively dating before you’re ready for marriage, you are restricting the variety of people you get to know, which limits the amount of personality traits you see and how they clash or fit with yours. Dating is meant to be dates with a variety of people and activities so both of you get to know more about each other and yourselves. Courtship is going out with one person and getting to know them on a deeper level. You are honest, upfront, and open about everything with them. This is potentially the person you are going to marry. Leave no stone left unturned.
Relationships are work. It is hard. It’s supposed to be hard. Courtship takes work, you may find that your partner does something that drives you crazy. So, you two now get to work together to fix this issues. They may see it as totally normal, it is not up to you to belittle them with how they are wrong. It is a partnership. Find a compromise, or just learn how to live with it. I hate to break it to you, but you’re not perfect and there are probably lots of things you do that will drive your partner crazy.
The ring comes out, those terrifyingly beautiful words are uttered, and you now have a wedding date set. It’s time to plan! You are not only planning a wedding, you are also in the very early stages of planning a marriage (which, you guessed it, takes WORK). I wonder if y’all have seen a common theme between probably all my blogposts…
The average wedding in the US is around $45,000. That is more than I will spend on my bachelor’s degree. Not just tuition; that’s housing, books, food, transportation, pretty much everything. At this point in my life, I am nowhere near marriage, but I don’t want to spend anywhere near that much on a wedding. Here’s an idea I may or may not have borrowed from a professor: Ask family and friends to pitch in to the wedding, with their talents, instead of risking getting five steak knife sets.
I’ve seen this happen a few times in my life. Mom has had many friends whose children have gotten married. I’ve seen my mom help decorate church gyms, bake so many parfaits I gain about 20lbs just thinking about them. My mom may not know it (mom if you’re reading this HI!) but she’s at the top of the list for my wedding planners. Another person who is at the top is my future husband. It’s his day too. He deserves to choose the colors, or the flowers, or whatever else goes into a wedding.
The semester is only halfway over, and I’ve already learned so much. I hope y'all are enjoying this blog as much as I am! Let me know your favorite post/topics in the comments below.
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