This is my final blog post. I’m actually kind of sad, and I don’t really know why. I tend to leave them until last minute… oh well… Who knows, I might keep blogging about future semesters and classes. Let me know if you want to see/read more from me!
I only had class on Tuesday this week because we took our final on Thursday. I’m going to try to stretch this out to 600 words, but it might be under because I just don’t have that many notes. This week’s topic was about divorce. I never really thought I would experience this in my life, but I guess that just shows us how much we can predict the future (not at all). My parent’s divorce is very, very fresh. I don’t want to go into any details, if you know me/us/them, you already know what you need to know. It’s defiantly been an adjustment, but I think I have it the easiest out of the family because I’m an adult and living on my own.
In the reading for class this week, the book talked about “Six Stations of Divorce.” They are emotional, legal, economic, co-parental, community, friends, and psychic (not necessarily in any order). Divorce effects so many more people than just one family.
I feel like the Emotional Station is the one people see and think of the most when it comes to the aftermath of a divorce. We see a family breaking apart. What was once one has broken into separate pieces, which will never be fully whole again. A wife and husband that once trusted and respected each other above all others have now lost all said trust.
The Legal aspect of a divorce is another big part of a separation. The two people who were married, and legally bound together now have the governments permission, for lack of a better word (and working brain), to end the marriage. Something that I’ve heard said quite a few times is that stay at home parents should have a possible career path “just in case.” This gets under my skin and makes me mad. I’m not exactly sure why, but it just doesn’t sit well with me.
When I tell people I’m a marriage and family major, I get a lot of questions about what I’m going to do with my major. And when I tell them I don’t really want a job/career other than being a wife and stay at home mom who raises children, I often get told that I should still get a job, or secure a possible career path “just in case” it doesn’t make me feel good. I often tell myself it’s because they don’t think I can be a good mother (welcome bad self-talk). I don’t know… I just feel like there isn’t a way to plan for the future. No one goes into a marriage expecting a divorce. If I lived in the mindset of “just in cases” I think I would start seeing/creating problems that don’t exists…
Okay back on topic: The Economic Station. This is more what I think of when I think of legal stuff. Dividing up assets and properties, etc. The legal separation of people and their possessions. The co-Parental station is focused on what to do with the children. Who gets custody? What are the visitation rules like? Joint-custody means that both parents have legal custody of a child; they can enroll them in school, take them to the doctor, and other similar things. Physical-custody is more, well, physical. It’s often a (failed) 50-50 spilt. One parents gets them during the week, and the other gets them for weekends and every other Wednesday (or something similar).
As children get older, then spend more and more time out of the house, so parents are less likely to see them on weekends or after school for activities like sports and choir/band/orchestra. When trying to find the “perfect” way to spilt the physical-custody of the children, the children’s needs are in fact overlooked. I don’t think this is done on purpose, but it happens all too often.
Community station involves all those who aren’t in the divorced family. Friends of the family are forced to choose sides. The extended families are also effected. It can take a while for everyone to even come to accept the fact that a marriage is over. Which brings us to our final divorce station: Psychic. It takes a long time for people to mentally accept a divorce. Divorce in general sucks, but it is sometimes needful. It’s such a hard and touchy subject… It’s hard to cover in a 800 word blog post. So I’m just going to leave it there.
It’s been great to blog. Hope y’all have a great holiday season, and if you’re traveling, please be safe! It’s been great, thanks for following me through this semester. xoxo
p.s. I made it over 800 words so yay!
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